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11/2/2016

I wanted to be a swordfighting missionary when I was younger...

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During my childhood, my father and my older brother frequently watched spaghetti westerns and played video games that involved abundances of swordfighting and magic-casting. As a 7-year-old boy with the attention span of a squirrel on PCP, I found the spaghetti westerns to be completely boring and uninteresting. I thought the shootouts were kind of okay, but I hated sitting through two hours of boring drama just to witness a gunfight that only lasted for ten minutes.

I did, however, take a great interest in my father and my brother's video games. My brain became so intensively wrapped around video games that I would pretend to play video games instead of fucking around with toys like a normal 7-year-old. I would often disregard the consequences of staying up past my bedtime and escape from the prison of my bed, meandering into the living room to observe my father and/or my brother playing video games.edit.
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One night, I walked into the living room and my father caught a glimpse of me in his peripheral vision. He offered to let me sit next to him and watch, which was unusual considering his normal response was to order me back to my room. I snuggled up next to him and watched in awe as he explored a vast, magical world, fighting weird monsters and saving the universe with his trusty sword and shield. My father thought he was being kind by letting me watch his game, but little did he know that my ravenous mind was consuming every fucking detail of this fantastical universe.

My father wanted to talk to me about the difference between real-life and make-believe, and so he did:
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My brain must have short-circuited from the overload of new information, because the next few minutes went something like this:
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Even though I had heard my father's words regarding the make-believe nature of the video game he was playing, I maintained a small glimmer of hope that he might be wrong. I became completely fixated on the the possibility that fantasy and magic could actually exist. I fervently trained by body and mind in preparation for a dragon's attack on earth, at which point I would inexplicably develop magical abilities that would allow me to save everything in existence from imminent death. I would be a valiant mercenary, and I would somehow save the world from the clutches of evil.

Over the course of a week, my toy collection evolved from a box of menial transformers and cars to an elaborate armory of plastic weaponry and defensive items. I had helmets, shields, breastplates, katanas, axes, bows, staves, shortswords, longswords, and greatswords. I possessed all of the equipment that I would need to save the world. For the entirety of a month, I spent nearly all of my time either hacking away at invisible bad-guys in our backyard, trying to throw fireballs at my cat, or staring very intently at the sky in hopes that my sheer willpower would be able conjure up some sort of magical storm.
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One morning while I was eating breakfast, my mother and I began to have a conversation about missionaries. You see, my grandmother was a missionary and my family had numerous missionary friends, so my mother felt it was necessary to explain missionaries to me. She told me that missionaries traveled the world in order to spread the Gospel to unbelievers. I was raised in the stereotypical Bible Belt Christian home, replete with strict rules and total indoctrination, so this type of conversation was frequent. However, this particular conversation struck a chord with me, and it wasn't because I was moved or touched by my mother's message. My 7-year-old brain was struggling to separate 'mercenaries' from 'missionaries', so for reasons beyond my understanding, I assumed they were the same occupation.

My overactive imagination had been relentlessly searching for concrete evidence that mercenaries actually existed, and I had finally found my proof. I automatically assumed that a missionary was the real-life version of a mercenary. My grandmother was a missionary, and therefore, she was a mercenary. I remember thinking "ye gods, my ancestors are mercenaries!"

I immediately bolted to my room, equipped myself with the proper sword and shield, and then darted back into the dining room. I lifted my sword to the sky and, with absolute conviction, I shouted the following words:
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My mother commanded me to get off of the table, but I was still at the height of my glory as I climbed back into my chair. I had found my true calling. I would follow in the footsteps of my ancestors and spread the good news of Jesus whilst cutting down any foes who dared to stand in my path. I, the swordfighting missionary, would save the world from imminent invasions of dragons and goblins. I would slay my enemies in the name of God and, in turn, He would grant me his heavenly and holy powers so that I could become the most powerful missionary in the world.

by Beard Bro
I wanted to be a swordfighting missionary when I was younger Thread

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10/31/2016

Hyper Light Drifter Review

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Every so often, a game is released that people would point to as proof that gaming is an art form. In the past, it was Journey, or Shadow of Colossus. This year, that game is Hyper Light Drifter from indie developer Heart Machine. The game debuted on Kickstarter back in 2013, where it quickly exceeded its fundraising goal to raise over half a million dollars. Two and a half years later, it was released on PC, Mac, and Linux in March 2016 with consoles following shortly thereafter. It has now been almost 8 months since its release, and it has still not released its grip on my mind.
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You are the Drifter, a nameless wanderer with a backstory you can only guess at, and a deadly disease that is eating away at you. Throughout your journey for a cure, the Drifter violently vomits bright pink blood as he hallucinates his death at the hands of a monstrous beast known only as Judgment. This deeply personal story is influenced in large part by the main designer Alex Preston’s own struggle with heart disease and illness. The entire story is told without words, or any sort of exposition. Communicating with other characters is done through a series of pixel art minicomics. The history of the world is woven through the environments, with hints at a long gone war dotting the varied landscapes.

Each of the game’s four main areas has a distinct style, with different enemies, climates, and secrets to uncover. In the north, a cult of zealous hawks perform sacrifices in their snowy temples under the direction of the magical Hierophant. The great corpse of a fallen Titan leans up against the mountain, its fist clenched even in death. In the canals and lakes of the east, the cruel Hermit directs an army of toads to slaughter innocent villagers, skinning and displaying their corpses in the abandoned city. In the forests of the west, the Hanged Man is slowly being consumed by a crystalline disease as soldiers of the old war fight you in the ruins of an ancient prison.

With the exception of the southern region, which is only unlocked after completing the other three, you can pass through these locals in any order you like. Don’t take this to mean that all the areas are equally difficult, far from it. Some players may find one region far harder than the others because each one has a different style of combat, with different enemies that you need to deal with. In the west, you will have some of the toughest basic enemies in the game, but their attacks are slow and telegraphed. In the north, many of the enemies are fragile, but exceptionally mobile and capable of doing deadly area of effect damage.

Combat is fierce, fast, brutal, and silky smooth. This is not a game where you can mash buttons and then walk out of a field of corpses. To survive Hyper Light Drifter’s unforgiving combat you need to be calculating and precise. Ammo for your guns is limited, and the only way to get more is to hit enemies with your sword. This forces you to be discerning in your style of fighting. You can find yourself wasting all your ammo on grunts, only to be forced to dance around bullets as you close the distance against ranks of gunners.



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Not every gun is equal either. The shotgun is one of the most powerful weapons in the game, but it takes twice as long to charge up compared to your pistol. After every three swings of your sword, there is a brief split second where you can’t attack again, leaving yourself open to enemies, making each moment precious. You can’t just swing wildly and succeed. 

Successfully surviving the post-apocalyptic world of Hyper Light Drifter requires practice, and understanding your own limits. Use your dash to close the distance or escape, easily outmaneuvering even the speediest of foes. Know the attack patterns of your foes, and when they are most vulnerable. Use the environment to your advantage, luring enemies onto vents of fire, crystalline spike traps, or throwing them off ledges with a precise thrust of your blade. The Drifter is strong, but he is fragile. With only five hitpoints, it doesn’t take many mistakes before you die.

That being said, if you get stuck on any one section, nothing stops you from leaving, heading to another area to fight its foes while you hunt for more golden gearbits and other secrets. These gearbits are hidden away in chests throughout the sprawling maps, and occasionally dropped by enemies in combat. Four gearbits make a coin, which can be given to vendors in the central town for upgrades, such as extra health packs, grenades, or more powerful attacks.
The motives of the vendors and the enemies are as open to interpretation as the Drifter’s, but this only adds to the atmosphere of the game. Despite being the graphics being 16-bit, it is one of the most visually stunning games I have ever played. Everything oozes melancholy, sadness, and violence. Even the sundrenched eastern area feels forlorn and unforgiving, as Disasterpeace’s synth soundtrack sets a haunting stage.

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And boy, what a soundtrack it is! Even if you ignored the spectacular gameplay, and the beautiful art, the soundtrack is worth the price of admission. Taking cues from Vangelis, Disasterpeace has composed one of the greatest soundtracks I have ever listened too. Each area has its own themes, and spirit. The Last General, the theme for the Hanged Man, is easily one of my favourites from the album.

In terms of length, a single playthrough will last you roughly eight hours, assuming you don't spend your time combing through each area to find every lats hidden monolith, key, cape, module, and gearbit. After completing the game, there is also an optional hard mode that restricts you to two hitpoints (which means that all bosses can kill you in a single attack) and prevents you from swapping capes. There is also a boss rush mode, and a survival/horde arena located behind a 12 key door in the central town to extend the game's longevity further.

All of this comes together to create a game that is as unforgiving as it is beautiful, as unforgettable as it is a joy to play. Hyper Light Drifter’s world and story feels immersive and intriguing, even without a single spoken word. At 60 FPS, the combat is some of the smoothest and most rewarding you can find in an indie game. Without a doubt, this is on the short list for best indie game of 2016.

by Macharius

Hyper Light Drifter Review Thread

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10/28/2016

From the mouth of Sgt Peanut

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"I have an infantile grasp on my native language otherwise I would write about everything and anything" - Sgt Peanut

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    Sapphire is a leftist community that talks about many things.  Created by Harlow in 2009, Sapphire has existed for 9 years.  We believe in leftist education, entertainment, and immersion.  

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